Some relationships leave us more tired than before. Maybe it's a colleague who always complains, a friend who only calls when they need something, or a relative who criticises every choice.
Notice how you feel
The first step is attention: how do you feel before, during and after time with this person? Tension in your shoulders, a knot in your stomach, sudden tiredness? Your body often knows before your mind does.
Short sentences, said calmly
A boundary doesn't need a long explanation. A few examples:
- "I'm not able to talk about this right now."
- "I can help you on Saturday, but not today."
- "Please don't comment on my choices about this."
Practise them out loud first. The first time is the hardest.
Time is a boundary too
You don't have to cut someone off to protect yourself. You can choose shorter meetings, in public places, or reply to messages when you have the energy, not immediately.
When a relationship harms you
If you feel unsafe, controlled or constantly humiliated, this is about more than boundaries. Talk to someone you trust or a professional, and look for support. You deserve to feel safe.
This article is for general wellbeing, not medical advice. If you're struggling, talk to someone you trust or a professional. Get help now.